Third Week of Oct

Dear Diary,

Bare with me for this will be a long entry.

The boss

Today, I woke up early. I actually slept late, but woke up early and basically had a not so deep sleep. I was a bit tipsy. When I woke up, the pants and shirts that I changed last night was on the floor. I was amazed, I even forgot to put it in the laundry basket. That was the effect of alcohol to me (well, at least the less consumption of it; it always keeps my mind so alert).

I got a little drank last night. Icko and I were invited to T. Arleen's parents' 37th anniversary celebration. It was a simple celebration. And I am always amazed at couples who lasts like forever.

Last night at the taxi on the way to T. Arleen's place and on the dinner table itself, I was able to open to Angelico my thoughts and feelings about his current involvement in my workplace. I was containing those thoughts to myself, except from occasionally sharing it to Anne or Maxine.

It turned out that Icko was well, the Icko that I know. He said he was not flattered by the fact that my boss has a crush or special attraction to him, and thus giving him more than the special treatment that he deserves. I may sound jealous or bitter here, but one thing for sure: my co-teachers and I do not like any of these idea. We totally disapproved and found it so unethical that our boss, late 30s recently problematic wife, is flirting with my friend, a 21-yr old most of the time immature guy. I am so sorry for being so tactless here, but these are my words about how I see this situation. And I could be wrong or overreacting sometimes.

To illustrate my point, I will cite some examples showing how my self-claimed innocent friend Icko is becoming the instrument of the epitome of inequity and probably infidelity (the latter is a bit too harsh, I know my friend is impulsive but he is not dumb) …

There were times that the boss will secretly text my friend Icko during the office hours and will invite him to buy food or DQ--which she never did before in any of us. An obvious treatment with not so hidden agenda. There were also occasions when she would deliberately distract Icko from talking to me, like texting or telling me personally to go outside and talk because the occasional conversation that I had with Angelico was distracting the people in the center. There were also times when she would tell me my mistakes in public and worst in comparison to him: "Kasi, I was observing Angelico when he was teaching my kids and he was like this and like that.." And many more, irritating occasions.

Ok, enough about the rants in the workplace. Well, there were good turns of events. I was able to speak to Icko. Based on my better judgment, Icko and I still have that bond, bond as friends that my flirty boss can't break---as of the moment, and I hope not. Icko made clear his intentions and none of these is to be involved in something that he knows will ruin his life. Not that I'm telling that having a friendly relationship with my boss will ruin one's life. Yes, I don't like her for being not a leader and a professional. Although I am guilty of professionalism too because of my tardiness--but that is another issue that I should really face on. Contradictory, my boss is considerate. Remove the moodiness and problematic disposition, she is completely harmless and a good employer--although not so good in terms of positive growth and appraisal.

Well, my bitterness and dislike to my boss isn't that obvious right? :P

TEST

Wednesday of wee hours, my mother, father, brother and I were in the hospital. We brought my mother to the hospital because she had seizures.  She had that attack again. She had this tendency to be so sensitive on small matters and be so hurt in simple conflicts. How am I telling this. Because, after that incident, my father told me that I was the one responsible for it. But I did not do anything except that I expressed my dislike about the idea of them being so dependent… believe me, it wasn't a long and heartbreaking discussion. It's just a simple message of please-bare-with-me.

Spending the night and half of the day in the hospital was a bad idea. Yeah, I had the small talks with my father and my lil brother but that's the good thing about it. Oh and one more, because I was able to check FB while in the hospital through my phone, I was happy because I got to reconnect again with one of my favorite persons: my adviser. He was there again, not physically and not totally aware of his impact on that situation, but he was one of the few who distracted me from the big challenge I was facing then. Yes, we were talking about the typical research and MA stuffs but it is good to know that he still cares...

Sleepless night, discomfort, and the financial cost are not so good combinations for a family bonding. But, once again stuffs like this should be part of life to remind us what should our priorities be.

Saying goodbye.

I hate goodbyes and farewells. As much as possible, I don't want to say goodbye. But I had to. We had to. On the same day that my mother was brought to the hospital I learned that one of my previous ANI friend just passed away due to Pneumonia. We were not that close but he was a good friend to me and to everyone else. He may always tease but that who he was and he never meant to hurt. It saddened me that I wont be able to see one long lost friend again…ever…

Other than that, another friend of mine lost her mother.

With all these, it's obvious how life really is. Nothing is permanent. We will never know who will stay for a long time and who will say goodbye soon. We can never be certain about that. But sure we can be certain that time is gold and precious time is limited and can not be wasted. And all the things that we do and say matters to the people we interact and most especially to the people we most care about.

Again, I hate to say goodbye. But this is part of life, And one of the many other goodbyes that life had provided me is the temporary goodbye to some of my current students--tutees actually. I treat them as my kids. I care for their academic but more so of their welfare. They have to leave the tutorials for some reasons but I hope that when they grow up, they'll be great men and leaders. I also hope that my positive impacts t to them remain even if they forget my name .