this is one of those unwanted days...when i had to work so hard, had so much headaches and yet, people see only the mistakes...this kind of a day in which your whole personality and humanity was judged by a single mistake, not even a crime. but there are those kinds of people who can make you look like the worst person, worst than a hopeless incarcerated person. i don't hate those people [who judged too much]. i just count those reactions to a thing called: individual differences.
thinking about this, this kind of instance occurred already before. and whenever this happen, i feel bad or worse about myself. but i think there are some improvements now. today, i don't feel that bad or worse about myself anymore. what happened is not a result of what i just did, said or thought; rather a result of different factors that affected this day (e.g., my personal situation, yes, the number of co-workers present, and number of students, not to mention each individual student's demands, are just some of these few possible interacting factors). I might sound like rationalizing or what, but i am also stating facts here. my point, looking back at the aylin before who encountered this kind of situation, i am more open-minded and less self-blaming now. :)
this kind of days, is one of those kinds which reminds that i can always improve and move up the spiral process. a door for improvement opens...
don't get me wrong. i am not becoming indifferent here. I am affected but not to the point of depression. besides, maybe what happened is not so good, even worst but that doesn't make THE day. there are other things about this day (e.g., my students showing excellent tests scores, accomplishing some student tasks like getting a locker, ID :D)
indeed, a total stranger, who didn't even see me personally might see me as the worst person of the day, for delivering a very disappointing work output in a work that i secondarily like; but that's just one strong nega compared to many positives (like someone who knows me well, especially with the stuffs that i love to do, appreciated my efforts today...) so it is a so-so day. prolly that's why i'm not that affected. :)
thinking about this, this kind of instance occurred already before. and whenever this happen, i feel bad or worse about myself. but i think there are some improvements now. today, i don't feel that bad or worse about myself anymore. what happened is not a result of what i just did, said or thought; rather a result of different factors that affected this day (e.g., my personal situation, yes, the number of co-workers present, and number of students, not to mention each individual student's demands, are just some of these few possible interacting factors). I might sound like rationalizing or what, but i am also stating facts here. my point, looking back at the aylin before who encountered this kind of situation, i am more open-minded and less self-blaming now. :)
this kind of days, is one of those kinds which reminds that i can always improve and move up the spiral process. a door for improvement opens...
don't get me wrong. i am not becoming indifferent here. I am affected but not to the point of depression. besides, maybe what happened is not so good, even worst but that doesn't make THE day. there are other things about this day (e.g., my students showing excellent tests scores, accomplishing some student tasks like getting a locker, ID :D)
indeed, a total stranger, who didn't even see me personally might see me as the worst person of the day, for delivering a very disappointing work output in a work that i secondarily like; but that's just one strong nega compared to many positives (like someone who knows me well, especially with the stuffs that i love to do, appreciated my efforts today...) so it is a so-so day. prolly that's why i'm not that affected. :)
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