today, life begins

July 27, 2011, Wednesday

27^th has always been a ‘special’ day to me. Ondoy struck the Philippines last Sept 26… but it was the 27^th when we felt the devastated after-shock (2009). The day of my college graduation was March 27, 2010. The day when I watch RENT was February 27…the time when a thin line between stupidity and courage could have make some difference… it was also the concluding day of my birthday month. The a-year-after graduation of my college friends was also held last 27^th of March, 2011.

In Aug, same date, I will take the entrance exam for my grad school application… another attempt to reach my dreams.

And today, it was a lazy Wednesday. I’m stuck at home (my aunt’s home actually) because classes are suspended again. Suspension of classes was due to Juaning Typhoon. I was in a ‘spontaneous’ 5-day vacation already since Saturday… at least vacation from Galileo (my current work) but not from some other work stuffs such as ‘Skwelahang Sikolohiya. This is also the official day when I formally bid goodbye to Harry Potter. I watched it spontaneously yesterday with my friends, Lai and Kaye. I felt like animating the EAT, PRAY, LOVE movie/book yesterday with those two.

Lastly, today, I am aware that one of the greatest men I ever admire is leaving the country… and I think it’s for good. He’s looking for a greener pasture. I’ll miss the times when I unexpectedly bumped into him around Katipunan or Ateneo. I’ll miss the days when I became so stupid and crazy I’m gonna text him any time to ask some random questions or to tell some random thoughts…and he will reply automatically, sometimes apologizing if he did reply late. But, that’s the IDEAL. This man, more often than not choose not to respond. What I mean is, he only responds to special cases. HAHA. I’ll miss the days when we’re meeting him (in ISO, smocket area, starbucks, mamus, Bo’s, etc) and the stuffs revolve mostly about our common passion: research. I will miss one great mentor. I hope that when our paths cross again, we’re both living our own independent and satisfying lives. I will miss you, idiot. For now, I say GOODBYE.

Today, music on… cellphone off, and I’m doing what I feel like doing: SS stuffs, reading (my new fascination is the latest book of Philip Zimbardo: The Time Pradox), blogging, eating, sleeping, movie watching, and research. No pressure, J Btw, rain is also ON! =)

The 27^th. Written 2:27 PM(GMT 8+)

time perspective.

This is my new "addiction." I want to study about this....

‎Maxine and I dropped by the NBS after the meeting... and this caught my attention. Moments later, i'm bringing this home despite having it out of budget! :P

From the famous Psychologist of the controversial Stanford prison experiment...

"Your attitudes towards time have a profound impact on your life and world, yet you seldom recognize them." This is the epic book. Hope it would be worth the TIME :)

PS. isang tambay sa cubao ang tinangkang agawin ang bagong biling librong ito.. kuya, kailangan mo ding malinawan about time? :) (but seriously, the incident was scary! =|)

so help me God. 


{MCDO katips while surfing and reading the TIME PARADOX.. in solitude...sometimes i enjoy it. like now. ] =)

we believe God wants you to know ... that it is more than okay to live your joy.
	Whatever makes your heart sing is what God wants for you! Of course it's okay to be happy! Of course it's okay to fulfill your heart's deepest desires! What your soul most dearly and deeply desires is the very thing God wants for you.

create a life you love (post from multiply)

i want..

peace of mind. clarity of thoughts, confusions in life and in a way to strengthen the faith that i put in my goals or purpose in life. I want to have a reflecting moment and a better self-awareness. I want to see the world in another beautiful perspective.

I want to be more alive--in a real sense--and not be a mere existence. i want to create possibilities and make these realities not only for myself but for other people as well. I want to pursue the goals that i've set. I want to be happy, and successful, and have a satisfying life.

I want a happy family (in the future)--my own family, with a loving partner and magnificent children... persons i can freely give my love and care for the rest of my life. I want to live in a small town--a town with green surrounding; a peaceful place.

I want a life with no regrets. I want a balanced life between relationships and career and other aspects of life. I want to share my talents, skills and be an influence with other people -- influence for the better. i want to be a catalysts of change. I want to be God's instrument.

i want no street children being degrade. i want to touch the youth and to leave some legacy. i want to travel the world for sometime and live the rest of my life with a happy, satisfying, simple family while appreciating the beauty of living joyfully.

..difference that these wants could make in my life...

I would be more optimistic. if ever there are struggles and obstacles coming into my life, i will surpass it! i will make my life complete, satisfying, fulfilling--with NO REGRETS. i will everything in my life with sense. there are many possibilities. nothing is impossible for those who believe they can--and I actually CAN.

I am being happy. I do happy things. I have to make it happier.

I am being fulfilled. I do fulfilling things. I have to make it more fulfilling.

I am being satisfied. I do satisfactory things. I have to make it more satisfying.

my life would be a selfless one. a life that had been God's instrument for goodness. i will show the world that life indeed is full of joy and happiness!

I won't live life in darkness. I will be a good parent to my children (future). I am living NOW and i won't allow my PAST ruin my present. i will keep touching people.

I know my purpose now.

"I am a human being, not a human doing."

i can die happily.

start today

today, i deleted all my inactive social network sites

today, i applied for MA

save for yourself

this awesome day reminds me that there's still hope

These are my co-pathways volunteers. I feel blessed that i met these great people with great visions, passions, intelligence, humor and love for our country. I may be too idealistic but this is the kind of people i would love to spend time working with.With them, i learned really great new things: like i learned that plastic for foods in fasfoods like jollibee is better than papers...more environment friendly; that sometimes our weaknesses are the streghts of others and vice versa and that we need each other... no man is an island..; that you can't help the poor unless you are poor yourself...and many many many wisdom that i may not remember per words but will have impact in my heart. I've met someone who call herself a professional bum. She just quit her job a month ago and she was glowing with happiness when she was saying that..as if it was the best decision she made in her life. She was working in a corporate setting for 7 years and she got really tired...so she quit and plan to take a very different path. I also met another one: a dentist in profession but hopes to be a preschool teacher... really there so much to tell about them.. but.. errrr i've no more time. ill continue next time.

\

sum it up: AWESOME DAY FOR AWESOME PEEPS! :-)

Teardrops

June 30, 2011

I was supposed to sleep. Im just checking if my camera SD and my camera are properly working already…but sadly it’s not. And now, one of the parents of my students is texting me.. may mali na naman daw sa ginawa naming mga homeworks. The conclusion, she thinks that I am not doing my work properly..

Other than this, earlier, my heart almost bursts from trying hard not to cry in front of my colleagues. Another parent spoke to my boss about my “mistake” in teaching his son.

Haay June. Why does it have to end worse? Im not a machine ok? Im a human being not a human doing.. yes, I commit mistakes but I don’t know why I keep on repeating same mistakes. Am I damned? I feel like an idiot. What the heck?!

Yeah, I know this world is not easy. Very difficult indeed, but why does it have to be sooo damn hard like this?

What is wrong with me? Im getting tired but it seems that my efforts are not enough to suffice the demands of the kids, the parents and co-workers. Why do people think mostly about money? Why do they sell their integrity in exchange of money?

It is not in my vocab to quit but I feel like quitting now. I feel that I am an idiot; how come I am teaching… yet I keep on repeating the same mistakes? Was I too tired? What do I do? WOOOOO! Crying is supposed to make me feel better. But how come it makes my breathing so difficult… and my eyes… blurred. Okay, here I am crying a river or two again…

Three of my closest friends feel more or less the same way towards work and personal things… what is with june 3oth? I don’t like working to please people. I like to work for a cause…I am motivated when I know that my efforts are worth it… BUT these days, I can’t find any motivation. People are less appreciative and considerate. I felt like they think we are not humans, instead machines that are destined to serve them.

GOD, I know you’re listening. Do these things make me better? Well then, I accept it. But please help me have more patience and strengths to face this trial…

Teardrops