Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Ithaca by Cavafy

When you set out for Ithaka
ask that your way be long,
full of adventure, full of instruction.
The Laistrygonians and the Cyclops,
angry Poseidon - do not fear them:
such as these you will never find
as long as your thought is lofty, as long as a rare
emotion touch your spirit and your body.
The Laistrygonians and the Cyclops,
angry Poseidon - you will not meet them
unless you carry them in your soul,
unless your soul raise them up before you.

Ask that your way be long.
At many a Summer dawn to enter
with what gratitude, what joy -
ports seen for the first time;
to stop at Phoenician trading centres,
and to buy good merchandise,
mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
and sensuous perfumes of every kind,
sensuous perfumes as lavishly as you can;
to visit many Egyptian cities,
to gather stores of knowledge from the learned.

Have Ithaka always in your mind.
Your arrival there is what you are destined for.
But don't in the least hurry the journey.
Better it last for years,
so that when you reach the island you are old,
rich with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting Ithaka to give you wealth.
Ithaka gave you a splendid journey.
Without her you would not have set out.
She hasn't anything else to give you.

And if you find her poor, Ithaka hasn't deceived you.
So wise you have become, of such experience,
that already you'll have understood what these Ithakas mean.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Lessons from the irreparable laptop

This coming June, if my laptop is still working it would be 2 years old. However, last December 25, a fatal accident occurred to my first ever "expensive" possession. (I operationally define expensive in quotes here as not easily purchasable within a month of payroll.) My beloved mother accidentally stepped on it, because I "carelessly" put the laptop onto my bed.

The screen was broken. But i did not automatically have it checked. I tried if it still works. Oh, great it was still working! Disregarding the "lines", you can still view from it. So I kept on using it. Then, vacation time ended, I haven't had it checked it yet. I was too busy that it has been on the bottom of my priorities, since I was using my sister's laptop. (Thanks to her, I survived second sem!).

And last week, I had it checked. Finally! But it was toooooo effin laaaaaaaaate! The damaged severed and irreparable. The motherboard was burned so it shut downed permanently.

With that heartbreaking news, the hope that I can still use my very first laptop, my own hardwork sweat and blood reward to self was gone... gone with the wind. Not only that. Now, I cannot retrieve my files!!!!! the pictures i had years agooooo!!! I recovered the harddrive but I could not access the users in my computer :((

Lesson: LEARN TO BACK UP FILES!!!!!!

But really, the main lesson here is that, I should have been more careful in discerning that one "broken" scenario is already an ALARM, a wake-up call to do something-that is to have it fixed. But, i disregarded that. Now, not only the screen is broken, but the WHOLE unit is irreparable.

Life lesson: Don't treat a simple mistake as simple. Treat it as something worth attending to. We never know its real worth unless, the damaged has been totally irreparable. :(

3 points to ponder...three points to score

There are three things i realized over the 1st quarter of the year 2013.

1. There are only three days to live life: YESTERDAY, TODAY, and TOMORROW. 

A balanced of being in the "now", small ounce of looking forward to a better future, and looking back at the past in a positive way are enough to survive life, enjoy it and live it to the fullest. It is easier said than done, but it is always worth trying.

When we live in the "moment", it is hard to notice that "missing" thing or that "problem in the past"... because now is not scary, or now is not stressful. NOW is enjoying the company of people around you, finishing THAT thing that creates passion in you OR that HOPE that everything will fall into place is in the NOW.

2. The values we uphold sets out priorities. 

If we value relationships, then we'll always make time for our family and friends and significant other.
If we value loyalty and respect, then we will always act as if whatever we do to someone will have the possibility of happening to us as well. 
If we value excellence, then we will not be satisfied with a mediocre's output.
If we value free will, then we will not impose or demand. A little assertiveness is alright.
If we value love, then we know that we do't have to long for it anymore. It is always there. From our family, friends, colleagues, even from strangers. They show care. They show love. And God is love. He is there.
If we value peace of mind and faith, then we know that no matter what, we will always come to Him.

I wanted to share this story i heard from a friend. 

God knocks on my house. I let Him in, but I kept him in my guestroom. He stayed there. The devil knocks in. I don't want him inside my house, but he is powerful. He destroys my life. I long for help and I know one who can reverse it and sustain balance--God. But He is inside the guest room. And being the 'guest', He didn't have any right to mingle in that life. 

Let us make Him part of our life, not only the guest.

3. Lastly, a balanced life is not a balanced life, even if you claim it to be if you don't live it. Be women and men of integrity and serenity.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

what happened to life?

wakes up at 4:30AM, sometimes 5AM sometimes, 3AM... starts teaching at 630AM until 430PM, 5PM, 6, 7, 8, even 9PM. have tues and fris class of 6 to 9 pm. training or meetings sometimes in between work and MA class. trainings, work, or research work on Sats, sometimes even suns. What is happening to my life? What happened to time? how did this become like this?

Great sacrifice. yes, it is a great sacrifice to do what you want but with limited energy expend because much of your energy is being drained by the work that I am either happy or not so happy doing.

God, i managed to survive the past three months.. but im barely surviving. how can i survive the next coming days. please help me....I know, with your guidance, all is well. 

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

When dream seems to fall into pieces, make a beautiful mosaic

Have you ever felt so lost? Have you had so many concerns lately that needs to be addressed?  Do you experience making decision, sometimes life-changing decisions, one after another, in a very short span of time? Do you have challenges at the moment that it feels like life is falling into tiny pieces?

Well, you're not alone. In this crazy world, full of crossroads, I'm also in.

I chose to take a baby step toward my dream. But after taking that step, many hurdles came in the way...hurdles that block my way of moving forward to that dream. What to do? Shall i back off and take an easier path, something that is not in line with my inner peace?

First thing first, accept the fact:Life is difficult. 

Not everything is given in a silver platter. Not everyone knows what they want or where they are going. Although, a few may know what they want, many lack the resources to achieve their dream. But who is great who doesn't start small? (If you know one, kindly let me know.) The great people I know, famous and not famous, all start with small steps. They became great not because they always take the right path, but because they learned how to listen to their inner peace and make sense of both failures and small successes.

We may overcome one challenge, but accept that as long as there is life, another will come. This is not some pessimistic thinking that life is always bad or ugly. It's just that life is meant to be difficult. 

Life is about growth, process, actualization. It is about finding meaning. It's about taking that path to your ONE ultimate dream despite the difficulties; some call it purpose, others call it 'calling'. No matter how we call it, life isn't life if we forget how to live the meaning of it. 

At the end of the day, it's all a matter of CHOICE with the process of discernment. We never know how close or far we are in our dream. But one thing is certain. What makes life difficult is the presence of change. Then, our inner peace would depend on how reactive are we on these changes.

When life seems falling into pieces, look again. The "pieces" is not an end, but it could be a start of a new 'purpose'. How about making a beautiful mosaic out of those pieces? 



Thursday, May 10, 2012

The Planner


I spent too much time last night too busy selling my just-claimed-first-time STARBUCKS planner.  But when I woke - up and checked it, I saw the feature that only the Starbucks planner  of all the planner of 2012 have. It is the feature that I was looking for. Then I had second thoughts.

Before I ever had any planner for this year, either Filed or the SB (I currently use my Filed planner), I thought I checked all the possible 2012 planners. I checked SB planner more often than the Filed planner. I thought by deciding to buy the Filed planner, I was making an informed decision that I won't regret. I thought that that is the planner suited for me. But I guess, like many times that happened before, I overlooked things.

Both planners are great in its own individual accord. Both are 'boxed office' and are really limited. Although the two are too different when it comes to price, both are relatively costly so let's skip that part. But yes, both are definitely hard to find.

The filed planner was out of stock by the 2nd week of December 2011 in all the bookstores within the reach. I set having Filed planner as a goal because it's a unique planner. Many planners have special features, but Filed planner stimulates creativity. It has the usual expenses tracker, monthly view and doodle area (after every month), plus it's black and white with cool comics so you can color it and be as creative as you want! I thought I won't be able to find an item, but I got lucky. I didn't get it for free. But I got a little discount from a friend who is a friend of the main supplier. She said it was one of the last few stocked items. So when I finally had that planner, which I was looking forward to have ever since I saw it, I felt jubilant. It was only now that I realized I spent the whole month of December visiting and inquiring on bookstores and sites about that planner. It was a goal reached…and now I am thinking… was it?

The Starbucks planner, on the other hand, like the usual high-end super limited planner, is just around the corner, but certainly not easy to have. I had to collect worth thousands of stickers and soak myself into the 'coffee' mania', within almost two months, just to claim the very limited edition and highly expensive SB planner. For a breadwinner like me who is paying her own school MA tuition fee in a very expensive school, renting her own space, not to mention earning a not so high wage as a school teacher, SB shouldn't be in my lifestyle. And I thought so. When I first saw it, I didn't like it. It has limited space per day. THAT feature stuck on my mind, so even if I decided to collect stickers, I decided long ago, that SB planner was not for me. "That one won't suit me."  But when I checked this planner again, this time with more OCness and carefulness, (only on the last minute did I really check the real features of the planner that just slipped into my hand), I saw the thing which made me regret I am selling it now. Well, it was already sold last night. :(

SB planner was actually simple and very neat, plus it is inspired by nature. But the feature that made SB planner distinct from any planner, and washed all the impracticalities it bears, was that it is the ONLY planner of 2012 I saw with a BREAK/SPACE/NOTES AREA between the weeks! That is what I was looking for. It is a space not to doodle (like the one in the Filed planner) or to write a journal entry to, but a space wherein one could possibly write a weekly based roles diagram. It is a to-do like version but is inspired on a week-long term wherein one will not write the activities by the tasks but by the importance and by the roles he/she is playing in his or her life (see First things first book by Covey, Merrill, & Merrill). It is important to have a weekly overview not like a rigid to-do list by the day, to see that a week is the reality of living a balanced life in which one can possibly spend time with all aspects of life; and not just squeezing the most number of tasks possible in a day.

So I missed that! Seriously, I really missed that! How careless I was! Then, like I have no other thing to do, I checked and inspected my Filed planner. It doesn't bear my name yet, but I already colored some pages, and used the first few pages. Tooo late. How I wish that by not removing my eyes on it, somewhere in between the weeks, there'd be space. But that was hopeless. I can't sell it for those who are desperately looking for one. I love the Filed planner but I realized, just realized, that I love the SB planner more! I also realized that I spent too many efforts acquiring the SB planner, more than the efforts I paid with the Filed planner. But it [SB planner] is not mine anymore; actually it was never mine.

In life, sometimes, we are always looking out for the best, the ideal… Then, we'll go to the market and canvass for what the best is. We'll find the popular and will check it, then we'll like it. We'll glance at the "competitors" but oftentimes, we're too focused on the 'popular'. We will find things about the popular that match ours. We'll find that it's near extinction and that we're afraid of losing it, so we'll grab the very first moment that offers the possibility to have it. But, oftentimes, we'll realize at the end of the search, that we are actually doing something that we are not so conscious about. We are actually "searching" and working to have something that seemed "meant to be", long before we actually became conscious that we were searching the 'popular'. We'll put efforts on finding the 'less-paid-attention-to' but most of the time we are too busy "eyeing" the "popular". And when the time comes that we actually have the one which  truly speaks our heart and innermost desire, it was too late---because somebody else  took care of it.

Definitely, the planner never planned anything for us. It is just there to facilitate our true hearts' desire, but we will always have to make choices first, and set our own path. No matter what one's planner is, it will always be a personal thing that speaks of one's life.

Don't lose your planner!