The seeker of motivation

Four hours of travel, back and forth. Eight to more than 8 hrs of work. That quiet need a strong motivation to continue. Pay isn't enough and for me, although it matters especially with the upcoming big expenses, money can never buy my motivation to do better.

The past month has been a rough month especially at work. Almost everyone in the working environment has shits that need to be attended. People get distracted once in a while. And I am one of the distracted ones, so as my boss. In the past month, I only have 5, more or less of on-time reporting. Yeah, my time  orientation really sucks. But, for me, it is not just a matter of time. It is more a discussion of my motivation. How do I say that? Aside from the weekday regular work, I am also spending weekends facilitating workshops and volunteering… and mind you, in those times, I am more or less on-time. The point is, to the things that I believe in, I make effort to deliver my best. I am never a pretender. So I won't pretend that I like being on something if I really don't. Similarly, with the transparency that I have as a person, it will most of the time reflect in my outlook weather I like someone or not.

In my volunteer works, I found ministries. I found myself being a better and growing person in those volunteer endeavors; although there are times when I also question what keeps me on sticking to those commitments and responsibilities. Whenever I ask that question, I always arrive with the same answer (although I forget the answer sometimes): I COMMIT MYSELF TO THAT BECAUSE I BELIEVE ON WHAT IT BELIEVES IN. I wanted to be part of the implementer of their mission and vision.

However, when it comes to my current work, I am suffering a great difficulty finding the rightful motivation to compensate the energy needed in that work.

But today was different. With the preparations for the upcoming Halloween party, I felt motivated. I felt energized despite the very tiring activities that we did today. I felt like I am into a real team who is working on one goal: that is to deliver a very successful two-bird-one-stone halloween / book talk tomorrow. It was light working with laughter, cooperation and the relationship that took place today was basically give-and-take. No criticisms, judgments, and misunderstandings. All is well.

I also love the fact that everyone gets the chance to everyone else. And that everyone contributed and participated. Practicing for a dance was a good thing also. Aside from the "exercise", it was really a bonding experience. I hope this great end of the semester is a start of a new and big semester--as a better teacher, employee, co-volunteer, new grad student, and most importantly a family member.

Well, that is life. There are ups and downs. Accept that life is difficult and life would be a lot easier to deal with eventually.