Letters to Juliet

2012 AGENDA

New Year's Resolution? Not my language anymore! For the past years that I've been creating a list of New Year's Resolution, most of it never happened, if not, nothing ever materialized. Why? Simple answer: we cannot change overnight. Change is a long process, and spiral, so you can just imagine how difficult it is. If you want to change, first accept that life is difficult. :D We can't just make magic wishing to change our attitudes, behaviors, beliefs, perspectives, just because it cross our minds. Change is commitment and it's a work in progress. So, for 2012, I don't have a new year's resolution. I am happy with my life so I don't want to promise changing anything, especially with regards to my behaviors. I'll just live life and add MORE COLORS on it! With that, here are my AGENDAs for 2012
QUARTERLY
Learn something totally new, quarterly. It's totally new so decide on what to learn when the opportunity strikes. It can be learning to bake, cook, sing, play musical instrument, driving(?), sports…anything. Just learn a totally new skill. YES. QUARTERLY LEARNING is about skill (other types of learning can come into the other agendas set). So hopefully, at the end of this year, there would be at least 4 new skills learned, or at the very least, tried. :)
MONTHLY: Arranged in the order of importance
1. Attend to the group gatherings in each role in life. I have these roles in life: (1) 'sharpening the saw' (personal: physical, mental, social, spiritual); (2) Family member; (3) Student; (4) Volunteer; (5) Researcher; (6) Employee. Every week, I have designated number of hours for each role, which I hope to strictly follow. So, it is part of my weekly agenda to "meet" the people, or do something that each role requires. One way or another, there would be a day in a month in which I can meet the people behind these roles… and when the opportunity strikes, bring out the camera and capture the moment! GOAL: MAKE SURE TO HAVE A PICTURE WITH THESE PEOPLE WHOM LIFE IS BEING SPENT.
2. Write and be an author. Take note, be an author. It doesn't mean making publications every month. It doesn't also mean, writing for pleasures only (this writing for pleasure, e.g., writing blog entries could be done on a weekly basis). It means writing something that is for publication. Every month, there should be a chapter or so accomplished for a project aimed for publication. This could be for an academic paper like researches or a book! :) IMPORTANT: DOCUMENT those times when you are actually accomplishing this agenda.
3. Visit and explore an entirely new place. Whether on solitude, with the family or with friends, find time every month to have a new adventure in a "foreign" place. It can be planned  ahead of time or just be spontaneous and just do it! Meaning, just bring the "essentials", pack light and be the DORA THE EXPLORER GIRL :) Doesn't need to be expensive. It can be an out-of-town, out-of-the country, or an exploration of a new room in the house, workplace, school, or a new building in the community… or it could be a new spot close to nature in our surrounding! :D Important: DOCUMENT IT! :)
WEEKLY:
1. Spend quality time with the family. Given the reality that we can only spend limited time with the family because of the work demands, studies, personal time, etc., it is important to make the most out of it. Play games with siblings, listen and engage self in a heart-to-heart or light-fun conversation with parents and siblings, eat, watch and do extraordinary things with them.
2. Attend academic classes and be a proactive student. Don't waste three hours of the class day just sitting and listening passively to class. Be proactive. Participate, ask questions, share… maximize learning (and the tuition fee!).
3. Exercise. Doesn't have to be a hard-core exercise. Just find time to walk or jog. Use the time as a bonding time with family or friends or just a time to be in solitude. Listen to music while doing that. Laugh out loud when with family and friends, as it happens. Suggested time: early morning or at night after work and class.
4. Work with passion. A teacher touches lives so make sure to prepare. Since work is the next large part of our life that eats our time, make the most out of it. Work in line with the life mission and with integrity. Well, that's abstract. Making it concrete, come to work with this mindset: Every working day is an exciting day. (This is hard, but take the challenge and bloom.) Come and leave on time. Listen to students, co-teachers, parents, staffs with on open heart and mind. Happy teaching!
5. Read. Just read, read, and read. It may be a part of a book (academic, fiction, inspirational, ect.), newspaper, blog entry, web page, or a message or letter. Make the words add spices on each week! :) To make this agenda more fun: make sure to read a different genre in a different place every week! How would that be possible? Use creativity and spontaneity. 
6. Be productive. Volunteer and Research. The difference between volunteer work and research work with that of the work as an employee, is not just that it is not being compensated with money, but that these two are more internally motivated than the work as an employee. In a week, prioritize between the two. Which is more important to be accomplished in a particular week? Is it possible to divide the allotted time in a 50-50 basis? If not, which agenda will get the more weight? Discern. The beauty of a research and volunteer work is that these two agendas are direct-long-term ways of leaving actual legacies in this life…plus it is a sure ball avenue of meeting new friends and discovering new things.
DAILY - 10 in a day:
1. Eat - Make sure to have 3 meals per day. Eating time can be maximized by making it a bonding time with the family, peers, and friends.
2. Sleep - According to the weekly time-allotment, a week has 56 hrs allotted time for sleep. Maximize it and let's see the difference :) If you want to know the incredible magical importance and magical effect of sleep, google it.
3. Work - Of course, on a typical day… go to work and work with the heart.
4. Play - Have time to play. Use the creative juices.
5. Pray - I didn’t allot a weekly agenda to go to church. I can't promise that. But I can pray every single day. Prayer is a powerful thing. God is always there to guide us.
6. Smile - smile often, be happy.
7. Delay gratification - remember the marshmallow experiment, or the 'gulp the frog first thing in the morning' thing, or the jar-stone-gravel-pebbles-sand story. In other words, it always pays of to delay gratification.
8. LOVE - self-explanatory. A dosage of love everyday makes the world a round rainbow a day, if you know what I mean.
9. Learn - think and reflect. It always pays of to do that, too.
10. Express gratitude - other than "please", the other most important word is "thanks".
Making all these agendas materialized wouldn't be that easy. But always remember: life is difficult. And this is LIFE, Aylin. :) Surely, this 2012 will be full of colors!
P.S. Make sure to take a physical and medical check-up twice a year, or at least once a year :P

The Planner

I spent too much time last night too busy selling my just-claimed-first-time STARBUCKS planner.  But when I woke - up and checked it, I saw the feature that only the Starbucks planner  of all the planner of 2012 have. It is the feature that I was looking for. Then I had second thoughts.

Before I ever had any planner for this year, either Filed or the SB (I currently use my Filed planner), I thought I checked all the possible 2012 planners. I checked SB planner more often than the Filed planner. I thought by deciding to buy the Filed planner, I was making an informed decision that I won't regret. I thought that that is the planner suited for me. But I guess, like many times that happened before, I overlooked things.

Both planners are great in its own individual accord. Both are 'boxed office' and are really limited. Although the two are too different when it comes to price, both are relatively costly so let's skip that part. But yes, both are definitely hard to find.

The filed planner was out of stock by the 2nd week of December 2011 in all the bookstores within the reach. I set having Filed planner as a goal because it's a unique planner. Many planners have special features, but Filed planner stimulates creativity. It has the usual expenses tracker, monthly view and doodle area (after every month), plus it's black and white with cool comics so you can color it and be as creative as you want! I thought I won't be able to find an item, but I got lucky. I didn't get it for free. But I got a little discount from a friend who is a friend of the main supplier. She said it was one of the last few stocked items. So when I finally had that planner, which I was looking forward to have ever since I saw it, I felt jubilant. It was only now that I realized I spent the whole month of December visiting and inquiring on bookstores and sites about that planner. It was a goal reached…and now I am thinking… was it?

The Starbucks planner, on the other hand, like the usual high-end super limited planner, is just around the corner, but certainly not easy to have. I had to collect worth thousands of stickers and soak myself into the 'coffee' mania', within almost two months, just to claim the very limited edition and highly expensive SB planner. For a breadwinner like me who is paying her own school MA tuition fee in a very expensive school, renting her own space, not to mention earning a not so high wage as a school teacher, SB shouldn't be in my lifestyle. And I thought so. When I first saw it, I didn't like it. It has limited space per day. THAT feature stuck on my mind, so even if I decided to collect stickers, I decided long ago, that SB planner was not for me. "That one won't suit me."  But when I checked this planner again, this time with more OCness and carefulness, (only on the last minute did I really check the real features of the planner that just slipped into my hand), I saw the thing which made me regret I am selling it now. Well, it was already sold last night. :(

SB planner was actually simple and very neat, plus it is inspired by nature. But the feature that made SB planner distinct from any planner, and washed all the impracticalities it bears, was that it is the ONLY planner of 2012 I saw with a BREAK/SPACE/NOTES AREA between the weeks! That is what I was looking for. It is a space not to doodle (like the one in the Filed planner) or to write a journal entry to, but a space wherein one could possibly write a weekly based roles diagram. It is a to-do like version but is inspired on a week-long term wherein one will not write the activities by the tasks but by the importance and by the roles he/she is playing in his or her life (see First things first book by Covey, Merrill, & Merrill). It is important to have a weekly overview not like a rigid to-do list by the day, to see that a week is the reality of living a balanced life in which one can possibly spend time with all aspects of life; and not just squeezing the most number of tasks possible in a day.

So I missed that! Seriously, I really missed that! How careless I was! Then, like I have no other thing to do, I checked and inspected my Filed planner. It doesn't bear my name yet, but I already colored some pages, and used the first few pages. Tooo late. How I wish that by not removing my eyes on it, somewhere in between the weeks, there'd be space. But that was hopeless. I can't sell it for those who are desperately looking for one. I love the Filed planner but I realized, just realized, that I love the SB planner more! I also realized that I spent too many efforts acquiring the SB planner, more than the efforts I paid with the Filed planner. But it [SB planner] is not mine anymore; actually it was never mine.

In life, sometimes, we are always looking out for the best, the ideal… Then, we'll go to the market and canvass for what the best is. We'll find the popular and will check it, then we'll like it. We'll glance at the "competitors" but oftentimes, we're too focused on the 'popular'. We will find things about the popular that match ours. We'll find that it's near extinction and that we're afraid of losing it, so we'll grab the very first moment that offers the possibility to have it. But, oftentimes, we'll realize at the end of the search, that we are actually doing something that we are not so conscious about. We are actually "searching" and working to have something that seemed "meant to be", long before we actually became conscious that we were searching the 'popular'. We'll put efforts on finding the 'less-paid-attention-to' but most of the time we are too busy "eyeing" the "popular". And when the time comes that we actually have the one which  truly speaks our heart and innermost desire, it was too late---because somebody else  took care of it.

Definitely, the planner never planned anything for us. It is just there to facilitate our true hearts' desire, but we will always have to make choices first, and set our own path. No matter what one's planner is, it will always be a personal thing that speaks of one's life.

Don't lose your planner!

People have black and white but let's not forget the gray in between

Why do some people don't see the bigger picture? why don't they see that life or the universe doesn't revolve around them? Why do people find it so difficult to see the good in things and always easy to pinpoint the bad of everything? Well, lucky me, i found people opposite these people I am referring to right now. When you actually interact with those people whose actions and ways of communicating are motivated by their desire to serve and not be served by the world, it's hard not to notice the "bad" guys.

They say that there is always bad and good in everyone. It's just sometimes, just sometimes, the good is being defeated by the bad. But no matter how huge the space is covered by the black or the white, let's not forget the gray. There is always the power of choice. That's gray. It is the in-between that dictates the path that we are taking. And let's remember too that whatever our actions are, there is always this butterfly or domino effect that comes along. But this is not a reason for us to act like the ever self-conceited individuals. This fact is actually a reminder to us that "no man is an island" and that our actions either directly or indirectly affects others--in other words, why not work in a truest sense of being a team?

Instead of listening to the bad side, and whining about all the negatives about the people around and the environment around us, why not, let gray comes in and let it work with the white side. With that, the hope is to find more reasons to keep holding into the truest sense of interrelations... and the real importance of taking care of our relationships rather than compromising it with the "accomplishment" of all the task no matter what. For example, if there's a problem in communication, do not add to the problem by attacking. That "compromise" is sometimes "bad" because it lets these fragile relationships 'break."

Point is, listen to the bad, listen to the good then discern with the gray. The world wouldn't be the world if there's only one person on it. World is about life and life is about people not one person or task.

P.S. Never write emails, letters, or messages, or just drop communicating when at the height of strong emotion, especially anger. It will be reflected no matter what and more often than not, it results to more disputes.

Books, movies, music, series of 2011

NOTE: there are other books that I read this year, movies I watched, music I heard, and series I followed but these are the most remarkable ones for me
BOOKS
1. The last lecture by Randy Pausch (EPIC book read as a finale for 2011)
2. First things first by Stephen Covey, Steve Merill & Rebecca Merill (helped me come up with my own personal statement)
3. The Time Paradox by Philip Zimbardo and John Boyd (inspired more to pursue Psychology; bought after an SS meeting)
4. Sophie's World by Justin Gaarder (bought in UP booksale; reminded me of Ate Len)
5. Like the flowing river by Paolo Coelho (bought from the GCs I got from the SS exchange gift; lesson: there's no guarantee that wishes are always granted)
6. The Roadless traveled by by Scott Peck (bought last 2010 but got to read only early this 2011)
7. The missing piece meets the Big O by Shel Silverstein (I used this in one of our SS classes)
8. The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein (I used this on my story reading portion in the Galileo Halloween Party)
9. Love you forever by Robert Munsch (one of the students who made a great impact in my 2011 life as a teacher read this to me; got the copy from Ms. Joji after one of the SS volunteers' workshop)
NOTE: there are other books that I read this year, but these books are the most remarkable ones for me
MOVIES
1. If only (last movie watched with Iren, super worthwhile; story of our life..importance of time, priorities, love…life)
2. The three Idiots (watched nth time and gave a copy to my mentor as a parting gift)
3. Serendipity (watched with Max and Gijik this December; offered a new insight about the importance of choice and destiny)
4. Crazy Little Thing called LOVE (watched on my own first, then with Anne and Max, finally with college friends during an overnight surprise party for April; one message: love makes the world go crazy)
5. Thor (I simply love this one)
6. The adjustment Bureau (showed the importance of freewill; got the copy from my roommate Ate Mityl)
7. I am SAM (watched it when I was taking my Social Psych class during undergrad but still caught my heart when I watched it again this year)
8. Harry Potter (watched the finale of the sequel on one spontaneous date with Lai and Kaye; watched the whole series on one HP marathon)
9. Letters to Juliet (love defies time and distance)
10. Just Like Heaven (a movie that reminds me of the beauty of being a teacher)
11. RENT - (This one isn't a movie but a theatre play which reminds me of that crazy thing called love; instead of watching this on a "supposedly self-imposed double date with max and the "guys"", I ended up watching this with one of the best girl friends I have, Luz and the best couple / mentors I know: Ate Solvie and Kuya Cris--> a couple with one extraordinary love story told)
MUSIC
1. Sorry - Buckcherry
2. 1234 - Plain White T's
3. Closing Time - Semisonic
4. Eternal Flame
5. Stolen - Dashboard Confession
6. Don't Stop Believing - Glee
7. Lucky - Jason Mraz
8. Count on Me - Bruno Mars
9. California King Bed - Rihanna
10. Art of Love - Jordan Sparks
11. Back to December - Taylor Swift
12. Invisible - Taylor Swift
13. I  wanna grow old with you - Adam Sandler
14. Make it Mine - Jason Mraz
15. Teenage Dream - Katy Perry
16. Our Kind of Love - Lady Antebellum
17. Never Alone - Lady Antebellum
18. I'm crazy for this girl - Lifehouse
19. Firefly - Owl City
20. Speak Now - Taylor Swift
21. Breathe - Taylor Swift
22. Can't help myself - Toni Gonzaga
23. When I look to the sky - Train
24. If it's love - Train
25. Marry me - Train
26. Out of my league
27. Beauty and the Best - Jordin Sparks
28. God gave me you - Bryan White
29. At the Beginning - Richard Marx & Donna Lewis
30. I fell in love once
31. Jet Lag -
32. Seasons of love - RENT
33. Science and faith
34. Fly to your Heart - Selena Gomez
35. Firework - Katy Perry
36. Today my life begins - Bruno Mars
37. Beautiful as You - All 4 One
38. I can love you like that - All 4 One
39. Can't fight this feeling - Glee
40. Defying Gravity - Glee
41. Let's just fall in love again - Jason Castro
42. One love - Jason Mraz
43. Say what you need to say - John Meyer
44. Last Friday Night - Katy Perry
45. Reflections - Mariah Carey
46. I'll never get over you - Selena Gomez
47. One Step at a time - Jordin Sparks
48. Price tag - Jessie
49. Love Story -Taylor Swift
50. You Belong with me - Taylor Swift
51. Take me to your heart - Michael Learns to Rock
52. Lovely - Michelle Tumes
53. Her world goes on - Bruno Mars
54. You can't always get what you want - Glee
55. Love bug - Jonas Brothers
56. Your love's a drug -
57. Zero Gravity - David Archuleta
58. The Climb -Miley Cirus
59. Come in with the rain - Taylor Swift
60. True Colors - Glee
61. Who says - John Mayer
62. The Truth - Kris Allen
63. The best things in life are free - Jackson
SERIES
1. The Vampire Diaries
2. Gossip Girl
3. PrettyLittle Liars

Top 12 before 2012

1. CHANGED-MY-LIFE-DAY
November 4, 2011. When I enrolled for my Masters Degree in Ateneo followed by a series of events: change of place, lost phones, change of work schedules, met new sets of people (classmates, teachers, dormmates), sister's change of status, became more bonded with old friends; That enrollment was not smooth for me (e.g., had a warning violation when I entered the registrar)
2. THINGS I DID FOR THE FIRST TIME
3. Post in front of a celebrity house: The Big Brother House
4. Skype with people around the globe: Sir Jay from Canada, Ms. Ann from Singapore, Sir Tojie from Nebraska
5. Went on a blind date and invited a guy friend on a solo friendly date
6. Bought a theatrical ticket for me and guy (false hope :P; pathetic move)
3. MOST FAVORITE PERSON I MET
4. R.M. Macapinlac - Med Student from Ateneo
4. BEST BOOK
The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch
5. BEST MOVIE
The Three Idiots
6. BEST DESTINATION
Laguna. But it's who I was with that matters the most :D
7. MOST UNFORGETTABLE DAY
Meeting/inuman(?)/ get-together at Mamus with Toj, Efer and friends: Words of wisdom 
8. BEST ACCOMPLISHMENT FOR THIS YEAR
Thesis published in an Australian Journal Publication: Journal Smoking Cessation
9. MY BLOOPER OF THE YEAR
My response to an inmate during an SS workshop about TIME with Daryl, Maxine, Randale and Louie
"Mahirap nga po pag nawalan ng bato." See facebook post for details
I am not exactly proud about this pero this is a great learning experience for me. Salamat sa magaling na obserbasyon ni Daryl Malonzo :P Re-post from Daryl: Today's Funny Story, while at Bilibid Prison with Louie P. Cagasan Jr., Maxine Joyce Torres Pinson, Randale Polo and the star Aylin Bello of Skwelahang Sikolohiya. At around 1:20 P.M. a discussion about time was given by Aylin and Max, a short sharing of the inmates followed. During the sharing, Aylin made mention about a research regarding SMOKING which leads to Clinical Disorders. Then she asked the inmates: "Sino ba sa inyo and naninigarilyo dito?" Some of them responded through raising their hands and pointing at each other. Suddenly one of the inmates spoke, saying "Ako po ma'am dati naninigarilyo at paminsan-minsan nagbabato, pero ang hirap po talaga tigalan ang bato." Our ever emphatic Aylin blurts: "Oo nga po, ang hirap po talaga pag natanggalan kayo ng BATO." While I was writing at the board, I stopped and processed what Aylin was talking about, then we went on laughing because we realized that she was not using the word BATO for a slang of a prohibited drugs, rather using BATO referring to Kidney. GRABE!! DAMI KO TALAGANG TAWA! What made me happy was her delivery, it was full of empathy of some kind and it sounded very endearing. But analyzing it, it might be the worst response you could ever give to an inmate whose confessing the use of BATO! :)
10. BEST GUY BUDDY
Been with him, I think the whole year round. :D
Angelico! Either he's the cause of my "agony" or he's beside me whenever i face the 2011 agonies. :D
11. BEST GIRL BUDDY
Maxine - always there, in ups and downs :) fun and sad, crazy and serious moments. toooo manyyyy to mention :D
12. MOST UNEXPECTED MOMENT
1. That I'd be staying in Galileo than in preschool
2. The result of the SS election

Simbang gabi: 2nd Night

FRIDAY-NYT

 We don't have the group therapy class because Dr. Lota had an emergency. The postponing of classes was announced last week. So the night went… still in Ateneo. I tried visiting the library to get the book the we need for our group therapy reflection paper christmas homework..but the lib was closed! SO I went back to my dorm and fixed some things.. Then I went to Fullybooked to look for a gift for the SS Christmas party tom. I found nothing to buy :|

I was singing and humming as I walk and enjoy my solitude towards the church.

Then, I headed back to Gesu, Ateneo. I was approximately 30 mins earlier. There were more vacant seat. I sat first at the middle right side. But the fan was too far and I really felt hot so I transferred. I ended up seating at the most right side. I was thinking this once I felt comfortable seating:

"I think it is not always that single man ends up with a single woman or vice versa; sometimes single woman go 'chase' taken man and vice versa."

I look aback.  There, I thought God was kidding me. Or I thought I was mistaken to see one time big time crush MAC seated just a row on my back! I tried to glance at the ceiling which are glasses so you can see the reflection of people seated. I saw him but because of my poor eyesight I can't be sure. Then, as if God was speaking to me directly, two people seated beside him and started a conversation. If I am not mistaken, he knows the man. Then the girl was just a new acquaintance.  So their conversation was a get-to-know thing. That was the cue. He mentioned he came from UP, that he is taking Medicine, specifically Community Nutrition… so he is definitely the Macapinlac that once made me a lil insane! :)) But seeing him in his 'solitude' (because the two seemed just beside his seat accidentally..or maybe for a reason,too) is AWKWARD! Define AWKWARD! What has been more awkward that added to the awkward situation was when Father was saying the Homily about Testimonials. Well, it was awkward because the main reason why we met 8 months ago was because I delivered a "testimonial" in the form of an inspirational speech for their class project.

I tried hiding my face, staring on the right side of the Church instead on the left, where the priest was. I was too busy thinking of how to "escape" from that really awkward situation that my attention was divided on listening to the mass and trying to think of ways to "avoid" him. I have no reasons to avoid him, but I just don't feel like seeing him or even saying Hi! to him right then. Forgive me God, but the moment I realized it was him, I panicked and I was cursing in mind! Inside the church! How I hope that I evaporate right there and then. I was avoiding the peace be with you part because I don't want to face him literally. I was thinking, when was the last time I saw him? I think it was last May. When I got the chance, which was when he stood up to receive the body of Christ, I stood up and walked away. But I stopped in a line for the receiving of Ostia on the main entrance of the Church. I received the body of Christ then went back inside, this time just standing near the exit. Not to mention the tempting generous offer of free coffee after the mass on the Bel Field! But i dont want to risk staying.

Then I was brisk walking back to my dorm.